every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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