Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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