found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize