margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
