True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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