so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
