maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
