nut hugger
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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