I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
