I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
How does one acquire holy water?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
