That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
