I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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