Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
