This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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