i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
