i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
