literally had 100 drinks last night.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
