He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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