Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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