You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
