That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
