Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
