I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
