yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
soo... how was my night?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize