This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
