need another drink. this is the easiest way
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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