I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
