i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
