Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize