So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
