is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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