Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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