After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
