i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
