no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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