I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You have to summon your inner elephant
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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