love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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