So drunk its hurt
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I haven't been this sober since birth.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
