Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
