He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
