And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize