We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
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