People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
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