It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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