This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You made out with two different species that night
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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