Ambien. No doubt about it.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
