Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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