I'm so fucking centered right now
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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