We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
you didnt know i had herpes?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
