I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
