Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
