Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
