Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
