He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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