Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
