do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
