mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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