they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
