Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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