some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
