Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
