I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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