Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
