I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
