Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
