hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
